The Premier League is back this weekend after a short break for some FA Cup drama, which, of course, involved VAR, because a three-minute video review is now the staple of every English soccer game.

That’s the VAR experience in a nutshell.

There are few things in life more humbling than a parlay. One minute you’re confidently explaining to your friends how this three-team parlay is “basically free money,” and the next minute some 19th-place side you’d never heard of three months ago is celebrating a 94th-minute equaliser that destroys your betting slip and your emotional stability in one swing.

Yes, I’m still not over what Burnley did to me a few weeks ago.

Nothing in life is ever guaranteed…except for me giving you all some inspirational picks for your Saturday parlay – and here are this week’s picks!

Bournemouth to beat Burnley

• Saturday, March 14 (11:00 ET/15:00 GMT)

Bournemouth to win

So we meet again…after a short hiatus, I’ve finally decided to go back to betting against Burnley, although if they knock my parlay again, there will be consequences – I’m not sure what those consequences will be, but there will be some.

Anyway.

Backing Bournemouth used to be a bit like a coin flip in a hurricane; you either looked like a genius or like you should be banned from casinos.

But credit where it’s due, the Cherries have grown into a far more disciplined and dangerous side since the start of the year, and their league position reflects that.

In the same way, Burnley’s league position reflects their ability…to concede goals and knock my parlays – I’m unsure which one they are better at.

Remember when people thought Wolves might finish with the lowest points total ever? Burnley saw that challenge and said, “Hold my drink.”
Bournemouth to win is the pick. I don’t think it will be pretty, but I think they have more than enough talent to get the job done.

Arsenal to beat Everton

• Saturday, March 14 (13:30 ET/ 17:30 GMT)

Arsenal to win

This is the business end of the season, and if Arsenal want to finally shake that “bottle job” label, this is the type of game they simply have to win.

Everton will almost certainly try to turn this into a physical battle. Historically, that’s been Arsenal’s kryptonite.

But this Arsenal team seems a lot tougher than previous versions.

If Everton are going to get anything from the game, Jordan Pickford will probably need to deliver one of those performances where he saves everything except the world from another war.

Let’s not get political. That’s way above my pay grade, unless they decide to settle it with a game of soccer.

Still, Arsenal should have too much quality here.

My pick is Arsenal to win. Probably from a set piece again ole, ole, ole.

I’ll see myself out.

Chelsea to beat Newcastle

• Saturday, March 14 (13:30 ET/ 17:30 GMT)

Chelsea to win

Technically, Newcastle will have had an extra day of rest. But Chelsea’s squad is roughly the same size as the population of Newcastle, so fatigue probably isn’t a major concern.

Chelsea have been inconsistent this season, but when their attack clicks, they’re a nightmare to defend.

Both teams have defensive issues; “fragile” might be the polite way to describe it, but Newcastle are also struggling to score right now.

And if you can’t defend and you can’t score, that’s generally not a winning formula.

Chelsea to win is my pick here. Yes, it’s probably the riskiest leg of the parlay. But no risk, no reward.

Also, betting against Newcastle away from home has quietly been one of the better strategies this season.

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